Intentional Presence
Today, while sitting with a non-responsive hospice patient nearing death and her grieving adult daughter, the daughter confessed to me her anger with God following the untimely and tragic death of her sibling years ago. Allow me to explain...
The patient and her daughter are relatively new to me, but I received word from her nurse that she was sitting with her mom, alone. I arrived as soon as I could and I sat with her for about an hour, having casual conversation about a myriad of topics, just passing the time and giving her someone to talk with rather than sitting alone while her mother slowly approached her final breath. Suddenly, and seemingly out of nowhere, she asked, "Can I confess something to you?" She then proceeded to pour out her heart about her feelings and thoughts following that previous loss. She explained it was the first time she had ever verbalized her thoughts in this regard and, she added, that alone, was helpful.
However, she was curious and since we were already talking, she invited me to gently and humbly speak about my beliefs regarding the source of all pain, suffering and death in the world as well as my take on God's "plan" to rectify it. I was welcome to talk about Jesus, in a whole new light to her, as the Suffering Servant, relating to us all as we endure the pain, trials and tribulations of life as a result of the cross. I was even privileged to declare the beauty and the power of the resurrection as "Christus Victor," Christ's victory over evil, sin and even death.
While we spoke, she wept, but she made a point to explain that her tears were not merely over her dying mother. She was crying because no one had ever explained the cross and the resurrection to her in that way. All she had ever been taught was a distorted take on the "penal substitution" view of Jesus' death (the idea that we are all wretched and evil people and God punished Jesus to show us just how rotten we are). While I explained that there are aspects of that theology which are true, the full scope of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross cannot be fully appreciated apart from God's unyielding love for and desire to be with us in all things, including our suffering. The only way God can save us, is to be with us, enabling Him alone to break the chains of death we all bear once and for all. As I walked her through this perspective on the gospel, it was almost as if I could see the flickering light of hope spark in her eyes.
As I sit here reflecting on that interaction today, so many thoughts flood my mind, not the least of which is presence - intentional presence. Just as God intentionally sent His Son into the world to be with us, here I was intentionally sitting with this grieving woman whom I barely know, just so she wasn't alone. I didn't intend for the conversation to go toward theology, I genuinely just wanted to be present and supportive to someone in their time of need. But, the result of that intentional presence was the sacred opportunity to share the goodness of God's love with her.
We live in an exceedingly rushed and distracted world. Nobody has time for anybody else and when we are with others, our hearts and our minds are often elsewhere. It happens to me far more than I'm willing to admit. I have a theory, if we who claim to follow Jesus could just learn to be present, intentionally present with others, I suspect we wouldn't be sitting around scratching our heads wondering why fewer and fewer people are interested in the faith we profess. It's not about bigger and better programs or flashier stage productions at church (not that those are inherently evil). All it really takes to change lives is intentional presence. As God is present with us, we ought to be present with others for it's the only way we'll even have the opportunity, to paraphrase Peter, "to give an answer for the hope we profess."
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for YOU ARE WITH ME…” Psalm 23:4
Happy Friday, friends. Go be intentionally present with someone.